“I don’t know why I got chosen to handle some of this stuff but I look good handling it.”
Some stories may have parallel similarities while others differ drastically, but all in all every person’s story matters and their voices deserve to be heard.
“With my legacy I want you to know that I did this thing called life and I did it with grace,” Lisa Nolan said. “It was a rocky road but I did that and whenever my time comes I am perfectly fine with whatever was left because I did that. I don’t know why I got chosen to handle some of this stuff but I look good handling it.”
Lisa Nolan’s first published book “Everyone Has A Story,” goes in depth about all she has lived and experienced in her 29 years of living. Much of what she’s endured can resonate with so many different people because they too have had identical circumstances.
Grief, a recurring theme in her book, is something Nolan knows far too well and it’s something that countless people can relate to especially those who’ve ever lost a parent.
In 2007, when Nolan was 15-years-old she lost her father Thomas “Tommy” Nolan Sr. to a heart attack he had at work. Then in 2018 at age 26, she lost her mother Inez Nolan to a tragic car accident.
Having to cope with being parentless has been a rollercoaster of emotions for Nolan and she admits that some days are very hard for her having to accept it. And she isn’t afraid to admit that she always allows herself to feel how she feels in the present.
“I have my days,” she said. “I think what keeps me going is I wake up everyday. To be completely transparent sometimes it’s hard. I really get up and it’s like I really don’t want to do nothing. I don’t think I was ever really taught to really allow my grief to grieve. I think as I’ve gotten older I’ve really worked through the grieving process of just allowing my body to do whatever it needs to do. I’m very big on that. Whatever your body is telling you to do, do it.”
She continues adding one of the main reasons she chose the entrepreneurial career path is to be able to willingly go through the stages of grief she may feel one day without having to be tied down to someone else’s schedule or rules.
“Honestly that’s why I really can’t work for nobody cause if I’m gone sleep I’m gone sleep. If I’m gone cry I’m gone cry, I don’t have any shame in crying,” she said. “If I get triggered, one thing about me you gonna get what I give you, so whatever I’m feeling, that’s what you gone get.I just allow myself to feel it and I allow myself to go through grief cause sometimes grief wins and other times we here.”
She also advises people who are providing support for individuals that are grieving to allow them to share what they need rather than trying to figure it out or guess.
“If you are consoling anybody that is grieving just let them tell you what they need,” she said. “Don’t try to fix it. Don’t try to tell them ‘oh, it’s gonna get better.’ Please do not tell them God only gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers, everything was meant for a reason, ‘oh you’re so strong.’ People who are grieving do not need to hear that they just need to be human and they need to feel what they’re feeling. People need to know that they’re being heard so if somebody tells you I just need some lemonade right now just get them some lemonade. If they say come over and y’all don’t talk, don’t force a conversation just let it happen. If you’re consoling somebody just let them tell you what they need and if they don’t tell you don’t take it personally. This whole grieving thing you don’t know what it is that you need, what you want. Let them decide how you can help them.”
Nolan’s book also touches on the topics of advocacy, boundaries, struggles with beliefs in faith, self-worth and more.
In the first chapter of the book she provides context about the racial injustices and police brutality our country, especially African Americans and other people of color have faced from the killings of Mike Brown, Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. Nolan, who identifies as Puerto Rican talked, participated in protests and advocated for the Black Lives Matter Movement.
Her talking about those racial and socioeconomic issues served as a form of self-care for her in the book and also opened her eyes to the truth that although she is a person of color she has somewhat lived with privilege herself as a white passing latina.
One of her favorite chapters in the book is titled “It’s Not About Me,” she reveals various scenarios where she was mistreated by people both personally and professionally. She realized in those moments of mistreatment that when people do things to you it has everything to do with what they have going on in their life, not anything you’ve done.
“Not saying you allow them to do the things that go with that boundary, but I talk about how I started to be able to look at it from the other person’s perspective,” she said. “I also learned that just because you do something to me doesn’t mean I have to accept it. You can feel how you feel, but I don’t have to be there to listen to it, that’s a boundary for me.”
In all she’s been faced in every aspect of her life, Nolan’s story is one that is filled with perseverance, resilience, and most of all transparency.
For her autobiography and the legacy that she will someday leave behind she wants people to know that she lived life to the fullest and gave it her all.
“With my legacy I want you to know that I did this thing called life and I did it with grace,” she said. “It was a rocky road but I did that and whenever my time comes I am perfectly fine with whatever was left because I did that. I don’t know why I got chosen to handle some of this stuff but I look good handling it.”
“With my legacy I want you to know that I did this thing called life and I did it with grace,” she said. “It was a rocky road but I did that and whenever my time comes I am perfectly fine with whatever was left because I did that. I don’t know why I got chosen to handle some of this stuff but I look good handling it.”
Everyone Has A Story is available for purchase on Nolan’s website, https://www.healingshegotfaith.org/shop.
The St. Louis American featured Nolan in a story last year about her grief blog, HealingSheGotFaith dedicated to her parents and other losses of her grief she’s battled.
