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“font-family: Verdana;”>I was at an event last week talking with a couple of people, one person I knew and the other I didn’t. The woman I met introduced herself by saying, “Nice to meet you. I’m in corporate communications for _____ (company omitted to protect the guilty).”
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>As we continued with an interesting chat about this and that, a person whom I know but neither of the other ladies knew came up to me to say long time no see.
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>Before I could even open my mouth, the extremely polished stranger extended her hand to the person I know and repeated the spill word for word.
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>The problem is this: the woman with whom this lady was assertively offering her introductory executive firm-grip handshake just so happened to be director of corporate communications for the company that this woman had so proudly boasted of belonging to.
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“Actually, I work in customer service, but I have a degree in corporate communications,” was what the woman said after my acquaintance excused herself from the conversation. Nice save, girl.
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>I know what you are thinking, at this point … what does this obnoxiously long intro have to do with black and single?
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>EVERYTHING.
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>How many of us make go hard with putting our best foot forward as we make our rounds during the introductory rounds of the dating game – knowing that some of our sales pitch is attached to a wooden leg?
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>You serve up the best version of yourself to the prospective man or woman of your dreams, but by the time you’re done doctoring yourself up (in some cases, literally, thanks to advances in online degrees) your story is more “inspired by true events” than your autobiography. What? You know it’s true.
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>We temporarily become this, that and the other to make ourselves appear more eligible. We operate in inflated positions, salaries, family backgrounds and zip codes. Some of us even lie about our church attendance when a man says he wants a “godly woman.” What irony!
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>But when the newness of the relationship washes away, we discover that we are more “stranger danger” than “power couple.”
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>And this bait and switch goes beyond the “little white lies” we tell for the sake of finding love.
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>We also – and by “we,” I mean me – pretend that we are more willing to put up with certain shortcomings and less than stellar behavior patterns than we really are to give ourselves a competitive edge.
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“Oh yeah, I’m cool with casual sex and open relationships … for me, it’s whatever,” you say in response to his notion of “a paradigm shift in the Eurocentric monogamous relationship patterns that go against every fiber in the black man’s being.”
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>But yet you check his phone, and do ride-bys and other actions that warrant a restraining order to stay on top of his sideline activity – and eventually attempt to sell yourself as his main boo thang once it gets serious for you.
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>You say you don’t mind if he partakes in – let’s just say recreational mind-altering substances – but you secretly plot calling the DEA on his “hookup” to scare him out of his habit.
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>I think plenty of us think adding a few little things about ourselves and subtracting the negatives we see early in the game will balance out. WRONG.
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>I’m saying be your best you, but make sure that you are true and not playing the lead role in your developing romantic dramady.
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>We’ve all seen those movies and they rarely have a happy ending. Chances are the final scene will play out the way it did with the woman I kicked this notion off with.
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“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>With the person she ultimately desired to impress saying, “Oh, okay … and your name is (translation: “who are you” with a side of “we both know I caught you in a lie, but I’m going to be polite”) – well, it was nice meeting you. Goodbye.”
