At 17, Brená Harris is, arguably, more mature than most teen girls. That’s because as a freshman in high school she faced pregnancy and the responsibility of becoming a parent.
“Every day is a challenge,” said Brená, whose daughter Robyn is 8 months old. “You just can’t do stuff your way or when you want to do it because you also have a child to think about.”
On Saturday, Brená joined with other young mothers for Centennial Christian Church’s inaugural community baby shower for new teen moms.
The event was a time for young mothers, ranging from ages 13 to 20, to enjoy themselves and fellowship with other first-time or soon-to-be mothers – and to learn the hard, fast facts about prenatal care and caring for a newborn child.
Every young mother at the event walked away with a baby bag of goodies, which included diapers, bibs, bottles and pacifiers. They also received a heavy dose of love, advice and encouragement to go on despite their circumstances.
“They’re just not judging you or looking at you like, ‘Oh well, you’re pregnant,’” Brená said. “They’re lending a helping hand and trying to understand where you come from.”
Jeanette White, chair of the women’s ministry at Centennial Christian Church, 4950 Fountain Ave., said the event was planned to help young women build up their self-esteem and connect them with material and community resources. The church hosted the baby shower as part of its annual women’s celebration.
“This is not the end of one’s life, it’s the beginning of two lives, and the impact that it has on so many others,” White said. “If you make a poor choice, you made the poor choice, don’t let it stop you there. Just say, ‘OK, I learned something from this experience.’”
Pastor Derrick Perkins and his wife, Bridget, were also able to pick up a few parenting tips at Saturday’s event. The couple is expecting a new baby boy in July and has a six-year-old daughter named Aliyah.
Having grown up in a single-parent home with his older brother, Perkins said he understands the difficulties many teen moms are facing. Instead of being judged and ridiculed for their decisions, he said, young mothers should be embraced and provided with support.
Many times teenage pregnancy can result in homelessness, depression, single-parent homes and a host of other social problems, he said.
“We saw the struggle of our mother trying to work and provide for us and at the same time trying to go to school in the evening,” Perkins said. “As children, we didn’t understand all of it, but as we got older, we saw just how difficult it was.”
Rebecca Edmonds, age 20, said finding a balance between being a good mother, being friends and having fun is often tough. But her parents and support group keep her grounded.
“It was hard during my pregnancy, but now that she’s here, it’s better,” Rebecca said. “My family was the one always on my back, helping me and keeping me strong with her.”
Saturday’s baby shower comes at a pivotal time for many teen mothers and their parents. Last week, a newborn baby with the umbilical cord still attached was found in a dumpster in the Skinker-De Baliviere neighborhood.
“Something like this could have helped her with her baby,” Roberta Leasure said of the abandoned baby’s unidentified mother.
Leasure attended the event with her 15-year-old daughter Markia Butler, who is due in June. “This event is a good program and a good learning experience for teen moms,” Leasure said.
Many of the mothers who attended the event were referred by area youth agencies including St. Louis County Health Department, BJC Teen Center and NBA ECHO Children’s Home. Community supporters such as TJ Maxx, Whole Foods Grocers and U.S. Rep. Wm. Lacy Clay poured in gift donations, while Parents as Teachers National Center, Harmony Health Plan, Healthcare USA and Lead Safe St. Louis equipped the mothers with parenting tools.
“Of all the things that they could be doing on a Saturday afternoon, they chose to spend their afternoon at church getting information on how to be a good parent,” said Terri Hatter of Harmony Health Plan, which provides medical coverage for mothers with children in the Medicaid program.
Although getting pregnant at 15 and having her daughter at 16 made her grow up “real quick,” Brená said it doesn’t stop her from fulfilling her dreams.
She will graduate from Vashon High School in 2010 and hopes to go to medical school to become a neurosurgeon.
“Stand on your own two feet,” but “don’t think that you don’t need a helping hand, because sometimes you do,” Brená said. “And don’t let dudes get you wrapped up. And stay in church, because God will always help you.”
