Mother’s Day will come a week late for Vickie Gray and her daughter Vernee’ Scurlock.
The mother-daughter pair will don their caps and gowns together on May 17 as they both reach their goals of graduating with a bachelor’s degree in human services from Fontbonne University.
At front row, center, beaming with pride, will be Veatrice Perkins, watching her daughter and granddaughter make good on their dreams of going to college.
“This year Mother’s Day will be really special because my mother was diagnosed with cancer in October,” Gray said.
“When you hear ‘cancer’ for us, anyway – because my father died of cancer – you kind of go into this panic mode and think, ‘Will she be here for me when I graduate?’ So it’s made it real special that, yes, we’re going to celebrate Mother’s Day and she’ll get to see two generations getting bachelor’s degrees.”
Graduation was a long time coming for Gray, age 49.
She admits “school was not her thing” growing up. She bypassed college and went to get her license in cosmetology her senior year in high school. She always wanted to go back to school, but it never seemed to fit into her busy life. She had a family and a full-time job and feared going to school with students who were half her age.
“I had a career and I thought this is what it’s going to be like, but it turned out to be something else,” Gray said.
In 2002, she accepted her call to ministry with the United Methodist Church and realized that in order for her to get into seminary, she had to get her degree.
Scurlock, age 29, was just the push she needed to go back to school after 25 years. At the time, Scurlock was already taking classes at St. Louis Community College. She transferred to the University of Missouri-St. Louis and then to Fontbonne with her mother.
“I probably would not be in school if it wasn’t for her,” Gray said.
“I mentioned it one day, just saying, ‘I’m going to go back to school,’ and immediately she says, ‘Here, this is what you do, this is where you go.’”
For Scurlock, the encouragement and family support really came in handy. She juggled a delicate balance between being a full-time student and the mother of a 7-year-old son, Michael. Her grandmother would volunteer to watch him if she had to study, and Scurlock’s sister, Verchelle, would even help her with papers. Her “special friend” would also lend financial support.
“When I’m doing my homework, of course he wants my undivided attention with him being the only child,” Scurlock said of her son. “Sometimes, when I have to study, he’s like, ‘Mom, Mom.’ But since I have the support, it all came together.”
Attending school together, the pair says, provided them with a support system that most students never experience. They took six classes together and held plenty of study sessions at the library and at home. They were able to save costs on books and gas, and offer each other encouragement.
“Vernee’ never buys the book,” Gray said, half jokingly.
The pair is more like friends than mother and daughter.
Scurlock hipped her mother on how to use a USB flash drive and her mother taught her the importance of hard work.
“They’re interactions are very respectful, like mother and daughter, but they’re also very close like friends,” said Leslie Doyle, director of multicultural affairs at Fontbonne, who taught them in her class on Race and Ethnic Relations.
Although the pair can’t agree on who chose human services as a major first, they agree that they chose the field to help people.
Scurlock wanted to start on her college degree once she graduated from high school. She flip-flopped from education to human resources to general education and then, finally, to human services.
“When I see people in need, my heart really goes out to them and I just really want to be able to help them,” Scurlock said.
Gray chose human services because she figured it would be a service through God to helping other people. She is an assistant pastor at Barak Christian Church and works as a youth abstinence educator with A New Cornerstone Inc., a faith-based organization that addresses the issues of unemployment, drug abuse, recidivism and family disintegration.
Although Gray is visibly more excited than her daughter about graduating, Scurlock describes being on stage with her mother as an unspeakable joy.
She says what helped her stay in school was the desire to get it done. But no matter how hectic school gets, she still finds time to visit her grandmother, who turned 76 on Tuesday.
“I know Vernee’ will be looking for me,” Perkins said. “She loves her grandmother. I’ve been to every graduation that she’s had and Vickie’s too.”
While Gray and Scurlock are busily wrapping up their last week of classes, they hope their journey inspires Verchelle, 23, to get her college degree. Verchelle is an aspiring model living in Paris with her boyfriend who plays overseas basketball.
“Even though I didn’t finish, it’s good to see that they did,” said Verchelle, who also attended St. Louis Community College with her mother.
“Most people would have their best friends at school, but I had my mother.”
After graduation, Scurlock plans to go the Police Academy and wants to be either a drug counselor or work in the Division of Youth and Family Services. For Gray, school is not over yet. In January, she plans to attend the Eden Theological Seminary.
Their advice to others who are thinking about going to school is to persevere, face the challenges with a deep determination and always keep your aspirations alive. They will congregate at Fontbonne’s commencement ceremonies on May 17 side-by-side as mother and daughter, friends, but also for the last time as classmates.
Gray said, “I know I’m graduating, but the fact that my daughter is graduating with me makes it really, really worthwhile.”
