Little beknownst to faithful readers of In the Clutch, this column possesses a magical crystal-like orb which with a single touch grants the impressive power of telepathy. In the interests of national and global security, the mind-reading orb is tucked away in the Rams Red Zone a secret location, nearly impossible for mere mortals to pass through. Its all-knowing powers are only summoned during the holidays, when we take a quick glance to see what our favorite sports personalities are most thankful for (Thanksgiving) and get a sneak peek at their holiday wishes (Christmas). So without further ado, put aside that juicy slab of turducken and see why our local sports teams are thankful.
St. Louis Rams
The St. Louis Rams are grateful for the mustached man in charge: Jeff Fisher. Despite last week’s visit from the Ghost of Spags’ Past, the Rams are an improved team. They play hard, games are finally competitive and the future looks bright with talented youngsters such as Daryl Richardson, Chris Givens, Michael Brockers and Janoris Jenkins showing all the signs of developing into quality NFL players. Though the team is not consistently playing up to its potential, it’s clear the franchise is headed in the right direction.
Quarterback Sam Bradford is thankful the team has a crummy backup. His play has been erratic at best. Some of the issues can be attributed to subpar line play or inconsistencies with the wide receivers, but at some point the QB has to make plays in spite of it all. Fisher has been a strong supporter of Bradford and that’s part of the reason he chose St. Louis over other teams who pursued him in the offseason. But if Bradford can, who has shown signs of ‘Bulgeritis,’ can’t get it together soon, the Rams brass might be compelled to use one of those RG3 picks to select Sam’s successor.
Conversely, Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez is thankful for the porous Rams defense that made him look like a star and stalled the New York fanbase plans to run him out of town.
St. Louis Cardinals
The Redbirds are thankful for the Rams. The team’s terrible stretch since 2005 has made St. Louis rally around the Cardinals even more. While the Rams haven’t made the playoffs since the 2004 team snuck in with an 8-8 record, the Cards have been to three World Series since 2004, winning two of them. The team has also made the playoffs in nine of the past 13 seasons. The franchise boasts one of the premier ballclubs in Major League Baseball, making it much easier to swallow the epic choke job they suffered at the hands of the San Francisco Giants this season. Mike Matheny’s Cardinals will be back.
Mizzou Tigers
Football: Coach Gary Pinkel and his staff are thankful the football season is almost over. The Tigers’ inaugural season into the SEC has been an unmitigated disaster. The QB play has been dismal, regardless of who has lined up under center. Coaching adjustments (or the lack thereof) have been even worse. While Texas A&M has made a seamless transition into the SEC, the Tigers have flopped and floundered big time with college football’s big fish. Marty Mauk has got to be thankful Pinkel didn’t burn his redshirt despite the dismal season. Let’s hope he’s worthy of the praise he received coming out of high school and gets a fair shot to earn a starting spot in the spring.
Basketball: Like the Cardinals, Frank Haith and his Tigers team is secretly happy the football team stunk up into intro into the SEC. That means the sour note of losing its first game in last season’s NCAA tournament has been pushed far to the back of people’s minds. Haith also has to be thankful for his wonderful gift of gab, that allowed him to convince so many talented-but-unhappy recruits to relocate to Columbia. Alex Oriakhi, Earnest Ross, Jabari Brown and Keion Bell are all expected to play major roles for the Tigers this season after transferring from other schools. Laurence Bowers is also back from injury and Flip Pressey is still here running the show. This means the Tigers shouldn’t have to wait for freshmen to develop and contribute to the team’s success. The team is reloaded and ready for another strong season.
St. Louis Blues
We’re sorry, but even our magical orb can’t predict when the hockey season will resume. Clearly players and owners have lost their minds by having work stoppages seemingly every other season, rendering our mind-reading abilities useless.
