Breast cancer has no color lines, nor does the scars it leaves behind. They are gems hidden in the beauty of a woman. If you look deeply into her eyes, they carry untold stories that lie within the belly of her soul. They are her hidden secrets. Her scars are rare cuts, holding intricate details left behind from the pains of life. Her tragedies and wounds are invisible to the naked eye, but they remain, gently revealed through her courage, strength, and resilience.
When thinking about my own individual scars, I can’t help but admit moments in time, visiting dark places in my mind. We’ve all visited that dark place at some point in our lives, whether it’s coping with anxiety or loss, tragedy and pain, loneliness and doubt, or any life-changing event.
In 2018, I experienced what I considered my final breaking point. I couldn’t help but question what God was doing in my life. For a moment, my life was over after being diagnosed with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer.
But I couldn’t accept defeat. I flat out rejected the notion of being defeated, and so can you.
But little did I know, He was setting me in motion for another life shift, which admittedly I wasn’t ready to accept. God has a way of allowing tragedy to reveal those who are a part of the journey while removing the heavy weights to be left behind. So, rest assured, you are not alone in this fight.
My advice is to stop silently trying to balance the slippery slope of pretending. Sometimes you must admit you’re not okay. You have permission to acknowledge the hurt. Acknowledgement and acceptance are the secret toward your moving forward, not staying in that dark place. If you’re not careful, you’ll begin falling into uncharted waters of depression.
Yes, I said it, depression. It’s a word that’s often shunned in many households and among even your closest friends. There is a stigma, especially within the African-American community. It’s the cognitive distortion and failure to address potential mental health problems.
Discussing depression and mental health is not cliché. Don’t ignore signs of being stuck in a continual downward spiral. It’s perfectly okay to seek the help of a professional psychologist to help you navigate through those tough issues.
Ask yourself a question: how long can you continue to suffer in silence, avoiding addressing your brokenness? Your mental fitness is at stake. It’s time to break through your silence. Whether you’d like to admit it or not, we’ve all hit a point in our lives when situations and life-changing events have launched a full-out an attack in attempt to take us out. Remember, doubt and a distorted perception always stoke fear. You are beautifully and wonderfully made, even in all your imperfections. Embrace your imperfections. Start by admitting your vulnerabilities and stand in your truth.
About four years ago, I met a sister who proclaimed her truth of overcoming breast cancer. She is a powerful speaker, author, and friend, Denise Sneed, who amazed me with her testimony of overcoming her cancer. She never settled into the words of being a breast cancer survivor, but she stood firmly on the premise of her living beyond her struggles as a survivor.
Life has a funny way of showing you just exactly where you need to be. Now, I truly understand the power of words. I will never discount surviving breast cancer, but I accept the call that I’ve overcome.
Today, like Denise and many other women, I am living beyond my scars. I am no longer paralyzed by a prognosis led by fear and defeat. I love the words from Ciara’s new song: “my scars are beauty marks.”
Dr. Nicole Robinson is the founder of the Hatz 4 Hearts Foundation, which provides supportive services that include the distribution of new hats, headwear, scarfs, and wigs to cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy. Visit hatz4hearts.org.
